sometimes, i'm just so top of the shelf

Ethnicity of the Week: Tom Cruise

Segue into: That makes two times I've been hit on in Cairo. By guys.

Pride of Lebanon: [shouts something in English]
Alex: [correctly hears himself address and unwisely turns around]
POL: Where, where you from?
Alex: Uh, [trying to avoid saying America] America, the States, California
POL: Oh, I asked because I thought you looked like ... [pauses, searches for word]
Alex: [braces for Chinese, but waits expectantly to be surprised, never having been Laotian before]
POL: Tom Cruise!
Alex: Oh! [genuinely surprised, only realizing blog potential later]
POL: Come, I want to invite you to pizza. I will pay, I have lots of money
Alex: Uh, em, [hesitating, intrigued by the offer of free pizza but having finally learned not to take candy from strangers] no thanks, I've got to go.
POL: Why? Don't worry, I won't hurt you. I'm from Lebanon.
Alex: I have a form to turn in.
POL: Ah, a what?
Alex: An application, for a loan, for university. [he says not untruthfully, referring to the FAFSA, due soon]
POL: Oh, you want money? I have lots of money. [Opens wallet and displays some twenties, Alex notes he is a few short of next years tuition] Come on, I take you to Kentucky Chicken [motions to nearby KFC]. I love Tom Cruise.
Alex: Oh, no thanks, I've really got to go.
POL: [blatantly changing the subject] You like girls?
Alex: Tában ['of course,' showing off extensive knowledge of Arabic]
POL: [garbled, maybe out of POL's mouth, maybe to Alex's ears] Oh, I not laik-ees them. Where do you live?
Alex: I have an apartment in Maadi [a bit of a truth composite]
POL: Alone?
Alex: Yes.
POL: Come on, I'll take you to Kentucky. I will pay. Or you pay. [Alex refuses again] Can I come to your house right now, alone?
Alex: No, I'm living with my friend.
POL: I thought you said you have an apartment alone?
Alex: Not yet. I'm moving in later. [true]
POL: Well, can I come over then?
Alex: [tries to explain with his face, chuckles] Um, [heehaws extensively] No.
POL: Why? [slightly incredulous]
Alex: It would be awkward. [walks away]
POL: [clicks and signs frantically with hands]
Alex: [turns to see his motions but knows he has made the right decision, he's a pizzatarian but tonight, it's a frozen pizza pie]
Alex: [continues walking]
Alex: [LOL, half way to library]