sometimes, i'm just so top of the shelf

Ethnicity of the Week: Tom Cruise

Segue into: That makes two times I've been hit on in Cairo. By guys.

Pride of Lebanon: [shouts something in English]
Alex: [correctly hears himself address and unwisely turns around]
POL: Where, where you from?
Alex: Uh, [trying to avoid saying America] America, the States, California
POL: Oh, I asked because I thought you looked like ... [pauses, searches for word]
Alex: [braces for Chinese, but waits expectantly to be surprised, never having been Laotian before]
POL: Tom Cruise!
Alex: Oh! [genuinely surprised, only realizing blog potential later]
POL: Come, I want to invite you to pizza. I will pay, I have lots of money
Alex: Uh, em, [hesitating, intrigued by the offer of free pizza but having finally learned not to take candy from strangers] no thanks, I've got to go.
POL: Why? Don't worry, I won't hurt you. I'm from Lebanon.
Alex: I have a form to turn in.
POL: Ah, a what?
Alex: An application, for a loan, for university. [he says not untruthfully, referring to the FAFSA, due soon]
POL: Oh, you want money? I have lots of money. [Opens wallet and displays some twenties, Alex notes he is a few short of next years tuition] Come on, I take you to Kentucky Chicken [motions to nearby KFC]. I love Tom Cruise.
Alex: Oh, no thanks, I've really got to go.
POL: [blatantly changing the subject] You like girls?
Alex: Tában ['of course,' showing off extensive knowledge of Arabic]
POL: [garbled, maybe out of POL's mouth, maybe to Alex's ears] Oh, I not laik-ees them. Where do you live?
Alex: I have an apartment in Maadi [a bit of a truth composite]
POL: Alone?
Alex: Yes.
POL: Come on, I'll take you to Kentucky. I will pay. Or you pay. [Alex refuses again] Can I come to your house right now, alone?
Alex: No, I'm living with my friend.
POL: I thought you said you have an apartment alone?
Alex: Not yet. I'm moving in later. [true]
POL: Well, can I come over then?
Alex: [tries to explain with his face, chuckles] Um, [heehaws extensively] No.
POL: Why? [slightly incredulous]
Alex: It would be awkward. [walks away]
POL: [clicks and signs frantically with hands]
Alex: [turns to see his motions but knows he has made the right decision, he's a pizzatarian but tonight, it's a frozen pizza pie]
Alex: [continues walking]
Alex: [LOL, half way to library]

bitchbitchbitch, or, The Perils of Going to University with The Super-Rich: Yesterday I paid 495 pounds for two mediocre political science boooks (85 dollars for those of you keeping score at home). That's as much as I expect to pay for rent.

List of Things I Miss:
half.com
dancing with roommates to college-kid rock at 2 AM, or whenever
the ubiquity of good french fries
peanut butter from Costco (Costco peanut butter, 6 bucks for two huge things, cf hamburger five dollars; imported peanut butter, 5 bucks for a mediocre sized Skippy, cf large koshari eighty cents)

Deep Thought of the Week: Democracy was my first religion.

Segue into: There's no more Lurpak butter at the supermarket

This Danish cartoon row has irked me more than I thought news could. I haven't felt this partisan and offended in awhile. I am so convinced we're right. The two sides shout, "See, they simply don't understand, the cretins." Yes, I'm beginning to see.


Nationalities Ascribed to Me Since I've Been Here:
Japanese
Chinese
Vietnamese
Hawaiian (my personal favorite, for creativity)
Native American (possibly, nay, likely correct! but only sortof...)

New Found Phobia:
Dogs. For a long time I've given answers that really skirt the issue: "I just really dislike dogs that aren't on a leash." Yadda yadda. But now, when I walk back to my apartment at 4 AM from Cilantro (the local version of Starbucks, which, relatively speaking, maybe an even bigger rip-off) there's all these stray dogs kicking around, and they always wake up and bark at me whenever I walk home. One night I even took a taxi just to avoid them.