In news today, a narcissist reports that peach fuzz on the site of Alex's future chops has made contact with stubble--er, okay, more peach fuzz--on his chin, heightening hopes that Alex might look really savage some day. 17 year-olds dressed in black and head-banging to Fall Out Boy, PETA directors, and Che Guevara's widow have expressed delight at the most recent developments, but really hot babes remain mildly revolted and continue imploring Alex to "just shave it off." "Ewww," an anonymous source confided.
Puberty Project chief The Pituitary Gland has issued a statement saying that everything is going as planned and repeated earlier promises that work would be complete in five to ten years, but made no mention of handlebars, which remain nowhere in sight.
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